NOT the last round-up.

I have just returned from the 14^th gathering of a group of my college friends. Twelve of us formed what we called “The Committee” in 1957 when we were seniors at Ohio Wesleyan University in Delaware, Ohio. The by-laws insisted there would be no rules, no officers, no mission statement, no meetings. For two decades we kept this committee alive by circulating a round robin letter that arrived at each of our homes once a year when we removed our own letter, replaced it with a new one and sent it on its way.

When we turned 50 in 1986, we all met together for the first time for a week in a Vermont chalet owned by one of our members. Since then we have met in each other’s homes in Denver and Steamboat Springs in Colorado, Asheville and Denver in North Carolina, Issaquah, Washington, Grand Haven, Michigan, on Long Island in New York, Savannah, Georgia, Santa Barbara and Paso Robles in California and last week in Middletown, Ohio. This was our first meeting in the state where we went to college. These days emails take the place of that old round robin letter.

Our gathering was memorable for lots of reasons: we are or are about to be 80; for the first time ever, one of us was not physically able to come, and a hurricane fouled up travel plans for some of us.

I think each of the surviving 10 of us would agree that this was a supremely important gathering. This time we made no plans to sightsee, go out to dinner or go to the theatre. We came just to be with each other.

We fixed simple but satisfying meals, exchanged books and had a special cake to celebrate our birthdays. We discussed Atul Gawande’s Being Mortal and we each shared a high point and a challenge we had experienced since the last time we’d met two years ago.  We went for walks. And we talked about the amazing, of course amazing, group of children and grandchildren we have produced.

We laughed at the changes time has brought; to our hair, our body shape, our ability to see and hear and our ability to ride bikes and climb mountains.

We all agreed that we wouldn’t ask one of our members to take on hosting all of us in their home next time. Instead we’ll search for a place that will house and feed us for a few days.

One thing we know for sure: as long as there’s more than one of us left standing, we’ll be getting together every couple of years. It’s hard to kill off a committee like this one.